Amazing day

Today was pretty average.. except my kids were a little worse than usual (talking, not focusing, not participating...). At the end of the day though, my room was converted into a prison for the trouble-makers from all the classes (those who didn't get to participate in reward day). Before they came it, I yelled at them and called them names. Questionable teaching practices? Yes. Effective? Pretty damn. Not that I cursed them.. I called them trouble makers, incapable of following directions, disruptive, disrespectful, irresponsible (everything they could have possibly done to get there). And then I told them none of that would go on in my classroom. They would sit silently, not make any noise, not talk, and do their work.

I almost just made them sit there and work (some of them were 0 for 3 in not having a reward day and I figured goal-making had lost its efficacy), but then I realize the opportunity I had, and I could not let it slip away just so I could grade a few papers. I asked which of them were for the 3rd time, and they proudly raised their hands with smirks on their faces. They felt so cool until I congratulated them on making progress. Luckily they're old enough to get sarcasm. We talked about how old plans of action were proving useless, and thought of new ways to improve in organization, behavior, and attitude. Some of the kids really impressed me. One had already asked for a seat change in class to avoid talking to friends. Another made a sign to hang up at home on her door.

I walked around and talked to each student individually, and I pressed the kids to get into their own psyche.. what motivates them, what the real source of their problems are. It was so incredible seeing them dig deep and generate real solutions. I guided one student to create of a better punishment to suggest to his parents for when he gets in trouble at school. I led several others to write names of the people that distract them/get them into trouble. "Ignore John" wrote one kid . "Do not talk to Mike, Alex, and David," wrote another(names changed). I accompanied one student to speak with another, his new best friend, to ask him to stop causing trouble for him. He was almost paralyzed with nervousness and obviously valued the friendship. I helped him start the conversation, and he finished it all by himself, stating clearly what he had a problem with.

I could see the anguish in these kids as they forced themselves to recognize their bad habits and give away the things they love most. Yes, I guided them, but in the end they did not have to give me specific names. They did not have to play my silly games. They could have copped out with, "I don't know", or "people". But they didn't. They gave true and honest answers. We talked about how truly hard it is list our friends as bad influences, to take away the things we love most in our free time. We talked about the difficult road ahead, and I told them I had faith they could follow through. No one ever told me telling the truth and making good decisions would be hard, and I hope more people are having those conversations with their children. On their way out, I congratulated them and told them how proud I was of them. I encouraged them to take real steps towards their goals--to talk to their parents, their friends, and their teachers, and ultimately have the courage to change.

I can't help thinking that I would feel so much more fulfilled if I had more of the "bad" kids in my class. I thrive off the counseling aspect of teaching, and frankly the majority of my personal students don't need much. I was expecting and hoping to be in a title I school where behavior problems are much more prevalent, but it just did not happen. Maybe being at this school is just an affirmation that I do need to be doing "more" in a different school or career.

Through it all, I could not help thinking about God's undying faith in us to choose the right path. He never labels us as "lost" or "troubled" or just plain "mean", as some of the other teachers have done with these students. It is so powerful to know that someone will believe in us through everything. Even though I might not see or talk to these kids for months, I hope that I was that believer, the one who showed them for little while that they could still turn it all around, no matter what they've been doing for whatever amount of time. Will they follow through? I honestly don't know.