So, at the beginning of the semester I got a new student. She's a bully and she makes my blood boil. I honestly don't know how to change a bully.
she has:
1) pinched a girl and twisted it, and smeared food on her shirt
2) kicked another girl in the shin
3) made fun of another girl so bad that she emailed me to tell me about it; she said she feels horrible about herself.
4) she denies all of it and then makes up false stories later on. (That's the best part!)
It's so hard not to react with anger and frustration. Yet, I'm pretty sure I'll get no where with her if I continue to yell at her and tell her that I know she's lying (I know, classy thing to do, right?)
I'm thinking that she needs to talk to the counselor, especially because she's new. Also, she came from a low income school where her parents say this was normal stuff. Nice. Her parents are incredibly kind and articulate, and they swear that she's never gotten in trouble like this before.
What do I do, seriously? How do you lead hormonal preteen to stop a vicious cycle of lying that's been engrained in her soul? Deny, deny, deny, lie, lie, lie, fabricate stories, get off the hook. There's rarely any proof of anything, especially when dealing with this age group.
Do I respond with love and compassion? That seems to be the Christian answer, and it would also make me feel a lot better about how I handle the situation. I just get so outraged that she would lie to my face. WWJD? I hate that phrase, but I mean it in all seriousness.
Please help,
firstyearteacher
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
After the break....
So, I never thought about how hard it would be to have an AMAZING Christmas break, laze around, take dance classes with my hubby-to-be and love each other to no end, swim in the snow, and sit around and play board games with my almost official new family, and THEN come back to school.
All of Sunday I pretty much cried, dreading going back to work. I tried so hard to look at the positive--that I am so incredibly fortunate to have such an extended break and my family and fiance for probably the longest amount of time we've had together for as long as I can remember. But somehow all the happiness was inextricably connected to the absence of it all. I prayed for strength, I sped back to make the last church service (I was still late, but that was okay). The calm and peace I get after really good prayer or sermons is indescribable. Too bad it only lasted for that Sunday night. After a lot of thinking, seeing how much love my fiance's family pours out on each other, and that sermon, I had resolved to be an amazing source of support, positivity, and strength to myself and all those around me. I also vowed to be an "adult", someone who gets up way earlier than she needs to, someone who gets to school early and is WAY more prepared than I was last semester... a first-rate teacher in all aspects. Then reality hit me.
Monday I went back to school for staff development; it was actually pretty good, with useful teaching strategies and a push to set some easy goals for each grade level. It was much less stressful than the usual teacher training where you come out with a MILLION things that you have to get done or your students will FAIL at life. We even discussed some stuff from Teach Like a Champion, although I think it was highly ineffective because they did not show the video clips that go along with the book.
Then came time to meet with my grade level and get some goals set. As usual, everyone was fighting for "me-talk".... aka "I think...", then someone else, "Yes and I think"... like subtle a competition to prove who's the smartest. Then came the little negative comments. Complaining about having to write goals.... commenting that this was all just for show, the usual talk that I've become accustomed to hearing. Only this time, I realized how poisonous all that is. Did I have the courage/strength to say something? No. I could barely keep myself from crying because of separation from my fiance. I was a wreck to say the least, so I kept my mouth shut and concentrated on not crying. Pretty pathetic, right? Somehow, I think I've conditioned myself to get overly upset at school, no matter what the cause (not in front of students, though! I think I just make myself think about something completely different when they're around...).
Anyway, this week I've done nothing but
1) stay up too late
2) sleep in too late
3) notice the absence of the love of my life
4) Stress about the change of schedule and activities in my room; I had to totally revamp language arts so I can help struggling readers and better differentiate for kids. (it's hard! especially when I was just getting used to the way things were last semester)
4) read ahead in the class novel! (this one's good)
5) Thank GOD that a certain student is no longer in my classroom for math and guided reading. I used to spend every day being frustrated with a kid who couldn't learn. Turns out he had a more severe learning disability than they thought. It's amazing what a world of difference one struggling student can make. I now have lots more time for the others : )
6) OH! I got a new student on Tuesday. Surprise!
7) Feeling so incredibly young and unwise. I want so badly to be a "real adult" and strong Christian who comforts others, but it seems I need that person much more than I can be that person. I'm still trying my darndest to be that person, but I don't know how to rid myself of ADD tendencies, getting quickly stressed out and fatigued, and procrastinating. Any help solving this problem would be greatly appreciated.
The end. Thank you for taking the time to read. I surely love you and miss you whoever is reading this!
PS: sorry for typos, I ain't editing this!
Sow a thought, reap an action;
All of Sunday I pretty much cried, dreading going back to work. I tried so hard to look at the positive--that I am so incredibly fortunate to have such an extended break and my family and fiance for probably the longest amount of time we've had together for as long as I can remember. But somehow all the happiness was inextricably connected to the absence of it all. I prayed for strength, I sped back to make the last church service (I was still late, but that was okay). The calm and peace I get after really good prayer or sermons is indescribable. Too bad it only lasted for that Sunday night. After a lot of thinking, seeing how much love my fiance's family pours out on each other, and that sermon, I had resolved to be an amazing source of support, positivity, and strength to myself and all those around me. I also vowed to be an "adult", someone who gets up way earlier than she needs to, someone who gets to school early and is WAY more prepared than I was last semester... a first-rate teacher in all aspects. Then reality hit me.
Monday I went back to school for staff development; it was actually pretty good, with useful teaching strategies and a push to set some easy goals for each grade level. It was much less stressful than the usual teacher training where you come out with a MILLION things that you have to get done or your students will FAIL at life. We even discussed some stuff from Teach Like a Champion, although I think it was highly ineffective because they did not show the video clips that go along with the book.
Then came time to meet with my grade level and get some goals set. As usual, everyone was fighting for "me-talk".... aka "I think...", then someone else, "Yes and I think"... like subtle a competition to prove who's the smartest. Then came the little negative comments. Complaining about having to write goals.... commenting that this was all just for show, the usual talk that I've become accustomed to hearing. Only this time, I realized how poisonous all that is. Did I have the courage/strength to say something? No. I could barely keep myself from crying because of separation from my fiance. I was a wreck to say the least, so I kept my mouth shut and concentrated on not crying. Pretty pathetic, right? Somehow, I think I've conditioned myself to get overly upset at school, no matter what the cause (not in front of students, though! I think I just make myself think about something completely different when they're around...).
Anyway, this week I've done nothing but
1) stay up too late
2) sleep in too late
3) notice the absence of the love of my life
4) Stress about the change of schedule and activities in my room; I had to totally revamp language arts so I can help struggling readers and better differentiate for kids. (it's hard! especially when I was just getting used to the way things were last semester)
4) read ahead in the class novel! (this one's good)
5) Thank GOD that a certain student is no longer in my classroom for math and guided reading. I used to spend every day being frustrated with a kid who couldn't learn. Turns out he had a more severe learning disability than they thought. It's amazing what a world of difference one struggling student can make. I now have lots more time for the others : )
6) OH! I got a new student on Tuesday. Surprise!
7) Feeling so incredibly young and unwise. I want so badly to be a "real adult" and strong Christian who comforts others, but it seems I need that person much more than I can be that person. I'm still trying my darndest to be that person, but I don't know how to rid myself of ADD tendencies, getting quickly stressed out and fatigued, and procrastinating. Any help solving this problem would be greatly appreciated.
The end. Thank you for taking the time to read. I surely love you and miss you whoever is reading this!
PS: sorry for typos, I ain't editing this!
Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.
(this was part of the sermon about not letting little negative comments control your destiny)
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