Oh yeah, on another note, I went to a college Mardi Gras-themed party and did NOT enjoy it at all. I even knew a lot of the people.. I was just uninterested I think. I'm ready for married life and dinner parties where you can actually see/hear the other people even if they don't wear white (black lights and loud crappy music...).
I think I will still like to have loud parties now and then and go out dancing/to bars, but not when 90% of my free time is occupied by grading papers, organizing my classroom, and lesson planning.
'Tis all.
PS: I bet I or my children will read this one day and say, "So that is when you became boring!?"
Monday, March 7, 2011
Spring Fever....
So, the weather just got EXTREMELY nice and I'm already thinking the year is over! I went and bought some veggie plants (tomatoes, chives) and I'm really excited! The tomato plant already has some little green ones on it!
I LESS than 3 months until the end of this year. CRAZY! Plus, TAKS will be over and all the crazy pressure to keep learning a new topic every day will be relieved greatly.
A few weeks ago, I had a meeting with a student and his THREE parents..... I basically made the kid hate school and my class because I was "negative". I'm pretty sure the kid is just an emotional mess as it is--puberty is hitting these kids like the plague hit Europe. Overly sensitive, moody, and dramatic. I exaggerate... they're overall pretty freaking awesome kids. I just have to remember to keep my pockets full of tickets and the yelling to a minimum. It turns out that yelling at the class is probably not the best method all the time. Somewhere along the line I forgot about positive reward (not positive reinforcement, which is something else entirely...the psychologist in me still lives!)... anyway, quick fix.
I'll be moving away after this year and no longer teaching because of my fiance's job, and my love and desire to be with him wherever and always. I won't be teaching in the new location because I can't have a job with so much stress and work. I need our first year of marriage to be as stressfree and happy as possible. I can't help but think this is a MAJOR blessing... otherwise I'd probably be staying at my school and being pretty unhappy. I can't say at all if I'd keep teaching next year if I wasn't getting married and moving away. Here's why:
-I'm pretty sure I don't belong in an elementary school; my talents are wasted in many ways, and my skills just aren't up to par with the generally cheery and lighthearted elementary teacher. I think it's because I was never a lover of children, and I'm not yet a parent so I don't know how to naturally interact with them. It's definitely a daily struggle to realize what's appropriate for their age and how to communicate best with them.
-I REALLY don't like working in a upper/middle class school. The parents are CRAZY. For a while, I cringed every time my phone rang. I was terrified of what complaint, crazy questions, or down right rudeness was going to come from the other end. I just don't get it. Why in the HELL would a parent call and try to start an accusatory, angry fight with the teacher that their kid has to spend the rest of the year with!? How STUPID can you be? And NO, I'm not mature enough to not punish your kid for what you do..... sort of. Then of course there are those angelic parents who come in religiously every week to help copy or do whatever stupid thing you have to do that's not in your job description. I LOVE them, and I don't think they exist outside of elementary school or rich schools. Strange dilemma. The other teachers seem to be used to the crazies, but I just can't imagine enduring that kind of unwarranted criticism. I'm just the kind of person who will say something if you are being a jerk/rude. I did to a parent over email, in a tasteful way of course. He backed down. It's just ridiculous. Parents and future parents: don't be the jerk parent who questions everything, assumes wrongdoing, and complains about EVERYTHING possible. Be ULTRA conscious about the tone of your emails, or better yet, call so that there are no misunderstandings. Never go to the teacher angry. Never assume that your "perfect child" has accurately described whatever they're talking about. They're children. Their memory and perception is feeble. Question them before jumping to conclusions.
-Teaching self-contained (all subjects) should NEVER be attempted in 5th grade. It's the bane of my existence, and all I can think of is how much EASIER and WONDERFUL it would be to teach only 2 subjects. My fellow teaching friends in 4th and 5th concur. It's just plain horrible.
I think that's all I have for now... it was incredibly negative I think, but I'm actually in positive state of mind. I was just communicating my past frustrations. I've been praying devoutly for the passion and commitment to do a good job with my remaining time here, and it's paying off : )
God is glorious, He chose me, and I have no idea why, but I love it.
crazy 1st year teacher.
I LESS than 3 months until the end of this year. CRAZY! Plus, TAKS will be over and all the crazy pressure to keep learning a new topic every day will be relieved greatly.
A few weeks ago, I had a meeting with a student and his THREE parents..... I basically made the kid hate school and my class because I was "negative". I'm pretty sure the kid is just an emotional mess as it is--puberty is hitting these kids like the plague hit Europe. Overly sensitive, moody, and dramatic. I exaggerate... they're overall pretty freaking awesome kids. I just have to remember to keep my pockets full of tickets and the yelling to a minimum. It turns out that yelling at the class is probably not the best method all the time. Somewhere along the line I forgot about positive reward (not positive reinforcement, which is something else entirely...the psychologist in me still lives!)... anyway, quick fix.
I'll be moving away after this year and no longer teaching because of my fiance's job, and my love and desire to be with him wherever and always. I won't be teaching in the new location because I can't have a job with so much stress and work. I need our first year of marriage to be as stressfree and happy as possible. I can't help but think this is a MAJOR blessing... otherwise I'd probably be staying at my school and being pretty unhappy. I can't say at all if I'd keep teaching next year if I wasn't getting married and moving away. Here's why:
-I'm pretty sure I don't belong in an elementary school; my talents are wasted in many ways, and my skills just aren't up to par with the generally cheery and lighthearted elementary teacher. I think it's because I was never a lover of children, and I'm not yet a parent so I don't know how to naturally interact with them. It's definitely a daily struggle to realize what's appropriate for their age and how to communicate best with them.
-I REALLY don't like working in a upper/middle class school. The parents are CRAZY. For a while, I cringed every time my phone rang. I was terrified of what complaint, crazy questions, or down right rudeness was going to come from the other end. I just don't get it. Why in the HELL would a parent call and try to start an accusatory, angry fight with the teacher that their kid has to spend the rest of the year with!? How STUPID can you be? And NO, I'm not mature enough to not punish your kid for what you do..... sort of. Then of course there are those angelic parents who come in religiously every week to help copy or do whatever stupid thing you have to do that's not in your job description. I LOVE them, and I don't think they exist outside of elementary school or rich schools. Strange dilemma. The other teachers seem to be used to the crazies, but I just can't imagine enduring that kind of unwarranted criticism. I'm just the kind of person who will say something if you are being a jerk/rude. I did to a parent over email, in a tasteful way of course. He backed down. It's just ridiculous. Parents and future parents: don't be the jerk parent who questions everything, assumes wrongdoing, and complains about EVERYTHING possible. Be ULTRA conscious about the tone of your emails, or better yet, call so that there are no misunderstandings. Never go to the teacher angry. Never assume that your "perfect child" has accurately described whatever they're talking about. They're children. Their memory and perception is feeble. Question them before jumping to conclusions.
-Teaching self-contained (all subjects) should NEVER be attempted in 5th grade. It's the bane of my existence, and all I can think of is how much EASIER and WONDERFUL it would be to teach only 2 subjects. My fellow teaching friends in 4th and 5th concur. It's just plain horrible.
I think that's all I have for now... it was incredibly negative I think, but I'm actually in positive state of mind. I was just communicating my past frustrations. I've been praying devoutly for the passion and commitment to do a good job with my remaining time here, and it's paying off : )
God is glorious, He chose me, and I have no idea why, but I love it.
crazy 1st year teacher.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Is it horrible if I want to beat up one of my kids? Or at least threaten with violence?
So, at the beginning of the semester I got a new student. She's a bully and she makes my blood boil. I honestly don't know how to change a bully.
she has:
1) pinched a girl and twisted it, and smeared food on her shirt
2) kicked another girl in the shin
3) made fun of another girl so bad that she emailed me to tell me about it; she said she feels horrible about herself.
4) she denies all of it and then makes up false stories later on. (That's the best part!)
It's so hard not to react with anger and frustration. Yet, I'm pretty sure I'll get no where with her if I continue to yell at her and tell her that I know she's lying (I know, classy thing to do, right?)
I'm thinking that she needs to talk to the counselor, especially because she's new. Also, she came from a low income school where her parents say this was normal stuff. Nice. Her parents are incredibly kind and articulate, and they swear that she's never gotten in trouble like this before.
What do I do, seriously? How do you lead hormonal preteen to stop a vicious cycle of lying that's been engrained in her soul? Deny, deny, deny, lie, lie, lie, fabricate stories, get off the hook. There's rarely any proof of anything, especially when dealing with this age group.
Do I respond with love and compassion? That seems to be the Christian answer, and it would also make me feel a lot better about how I handle the situation. I just get so outraged that she would lie to my face. WWJD? I hate that phrase, but I mean it in all seriousness.
Please help,
firstyearteacher
she has:
1) pinched a girl and twisted it, and smeared food on her shirt
2) kicked another girl in the shin
3) made fun of another girl so bad that she emailed me to tell me about it; she said she feels horrible about herself.
4) she denies all of it and then makes up false stories later on. (That's the best part!)
It's so hard not to react with anger and frustration. Yet, I'm pretty sure I'll get no where with her if I continue to yell at her and tell her that I know she's lying (I know, classy thing to do, right?)
I'm thinking that she needs to talk to the counselor, especially because she's new. Also, she came from a low income school where her parents say this was normal stuff. Nice. Her parents are incredibly kind and articulate, and they swear that she's never gotten in trouble like this before.
What do I do, seriously? How do you lead hormonal preteen to stop a vicious cycle of lying that's been engrained in her soul? Deny, deny, deny, lie, lie, lie, fabricate stories, get off the hook. There's rarely any proof of anything, especially when dealing with this age group.
Do I respond with love and compassion? That seems to be the Christian answer, and it would also make me feel a lot better about how I handle the situation. I just get so outraged that she would lie to my face. WWJD? I hate that phrase, but I mean it in all seriousness.
Please help,
firstyearteacher
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
After the break....
So, I never thought about how hard it would be to have an AMAZING Christmas break, laze around, take dance classes with my hubby-to-be and love each other to no end, swim in the snow, and sit around and play board games with my almost official new family, and THEN come back to school.
All of Sunday I pretty much cried, dreading going back to work. I tried so hard to look at the positive--that I am so incredibly fortunate to have such an extended break and my family and fiance for probably the longest amount of time we've had together for as long as I can remember. But somehow all the happiness was inextricably connected to the absence of it all. I prayed for strength, I sped back to make the last church service (I was still late, but that was okay). The calm and peace I get after really good prayer or sermons is indescribable. Too bad it only lasted for that Sunday night. After a lot of thinking, seeing how much love my fiance's family pours out on each other, and that sermon, I had resolved to be an amazing source of support, positivity, and strength to myself and all those around me. I also vowed to be an "adult", someone who gets up way earlier than she needs to, someone who gets to school early and is WAY more prepared than I was last semester... a first-rate teacher in all aspects. Then reality hit me.
Monday I went back to school for staff development; it was actually pretty good, with useful teaching strategies and a push to set some easy goals for each grade level. It was much less stressful than the usual teacher training where you come out with a MILLION things that you have to get done or your students will FAIL at life. We even discussed some stuff from Teach Like a Champion, although I think it was highly ineffective because they did not show the video clips that go along with the book.
Then came time to meet with my grade level and get some goals set. As usual, everyone was fighting for "me-talk".... aka "I think...", then someone else, "Yes and I think"... like subtle a competition to prove who's the smartest. Then came the little negative comments. Complaining about having to write goals.... commenting that this was all just for show, the usual talk that I've become accustomed to hearing. Only this time, I realized how poisonous all that is. Did I have the courage/strength to say something? No. I could barely keep myself from crying because of separation from my fiance. I was a wreck to say the least, so I kept my mouth shut and concentrated on not crying. Pretty pathetic, right? Somehow, I think I've conditioned myself to get overly upset at school, no matter what the cause (not in front of students, though! I think I just make myself think about something completely different when they're around...).
Anyway, this week I've done nothing but
1) stay up too late
2) sleep in too late
3) notice the absence of the love of my life
4) Stress about the change of schedule and activities in my room; I had to totally revamp language arts so I can help struggling readers and better differentiate for kids. (it's hard! especially when I was just getting used to the way things were last semester)
4) read ahead in the class novel! (this one's good)
5) Thank GOD that a certain student is no longer in my classroom for math and guided reading. I used to spend every day being frustrated with a kid who couldn't learn. Turns out he had a more severe learning disability than they thought. It's amazing what a world of difference one struggling student can make. I now have lots more time for the others : )
6) OH! I got a new student on Tuesday. Surprise!
7) Feeling so incredibly young and unwise. I want so badly to be a "real adult" and strong Christian who comforts others, but it seems I need that person much more than I can be that person. I'm still trying my darndest to be that person, but I don't know how to rid myself of ADD tendencies, getting quickly stressed out and fatigued, and procrastinating. Any help solving this problem would be greatly appreciated.
The end. Thank you for taking the time to read. I surely love you and miss you whoever is reading this!
PS: sorry for typos, I ain't editing this!
Sow a thought, reap an action;
All of Sunday I pretty much cried, dreading going back to work. I tried so hard to look at the positive--that I am so incredibly fortunate to have such an extended break and my family and fiance for probably the longest amount of time we've had together for as long as I can remember. But somehow all the happiness was inextricably connected to the absence of it all. I prayed for strength, I sped back to make the last church service (I was still late, but that was okay). The calm and peace I get after really good prayer or sermons is indescribable. Too bad it only lasted for that Sunday night. After a lot of thinking, seeing how much love my fiance's family pours out on each other, and that sermon, I had resolved to be an amazing source of support, positivity, and strength to myself and all those around me. I also vowed to be an "adult", someone who gets up way earlier than she needs to, someone who gets to school early and is WAY more prepared than I was last semester... a first-rate teacher in all aspects. Then reality hit me.
Monday I went back to school for staff development; it was actually pretty good, with useful teaching strategies and a push to set some easy goals for each grade level. It was much less stressful than the usual teacher training where you come out with a MILLION things that you have to get done or your students will FAIL at life. We even discussed some stuff from Teach Like a Champion, although I think it was highly ineffective because they did not show the video clips that go along with the book.
Then came time to meet with my grade level and get some goals set. As usual, everyone was fighting for "me-talk".... aka "I think...", then someone else, "Yes and I think"... like subtle a competition to prove who's the smartest. Then came the little negative comments. Complaining about having to write goals.... commenting that this was all just for show, the usual talk that I've become accustomed to hearing. Only this time, I realized how poisonous all that is. Did I have the courage/strength to say something? No. I could barely keep myself from crying because of separation from my fiance. I was a wreck to say the least, so I kept my mouth shut and concentrated on not crying. Pretty pathetic, right? Somehow, I think I've conditioned myself to get overly upset at school, no matter what the cause (not in front of students, though! I think I just make myself think about something completely different when they're around...).
Anyway, this week I've done nothing but
1) stay up too late
2) sleep in too late
3) notice the absence of the love of my life
4) Stress about the change of schedule and activities in my room; I had to totally revamp language arts so I can help struggling readers and better differentiate for kids. (it's hard! especially when I was just getting used to the way things were last semester)
4) read ahead in the class novel! (this one's good)
5) Thank GOD that a certain student is no longer in my classroom for math and guided reading. I used to spend every day being frustrated with a kid who couldn't learn. Turns out he had a more severe learning disability than they thought. It's amazing what a world of difference one struggling student can make. I now have lots more time for the others : )
6) OH! I got a new student on Tuesday. Surprise!
7) Feeling so incredibly young and unwise. I want so badly to be a "real adult" and strong Christian who comforts others, but it seems I need that person much more than I can be that person. I'm still trying my darndest to be that person, but I don't know how to rid myself of ADD tendencies, getting quickly stressed out and fatigued, and procrastinating. Any help solving this problem would be greatly appreciated.
The end. Thank you for taking the time to read. I surely love you and miss you whoever is reading this!
PS: sorry for typos, I ain't editing this!
Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.
(this was part of the sermon about not letting little negative comments control your destiny)
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